Ponderings

Do you ever feel like life is a dark abyss, just threatening to swallow you whole? An overpowering emptiness that thrives on snuffing any hope or joy? I know we all go through valleys, that Jesus walks with us and that He'll help us to climb out...but most often my human nature revels in the gloominess for a little while. Is it just me? I think sometimes it takes too much energy to fight the darkness, so I succumb until I feel ready to make the effort. I need to retreat somewhere quiet to soothe my spirit...to feign strength and bravery. To feed my soul with music and literature until I regain my composure and feel calm enough to go on.

Sometimes it just helps to think "out loud" when sorting through the rabbit trails of the human psyche!

What feeds and soothes your soul? Where do you find peace from the busyness of the world?

24 sleeps 'til Christmas!!!

Happy December 1st, everyone!! That reminds me that I really need to Christmas shop and I get to eat my first advent calendar chocolate today. Lee was very sweet and bought me an NHL one that goes until New Year's :) I think it's about time for my random update - it's been awhile.

The new job is going good, I feel like I'm catching on to things and my supervisor has been great to work for. People have been pretty nice and it helped to know someone who was already there. My vacation plans are being messed with, which is frustrating, but whatever. I'm really trying to let it go since I can't do anything to change it, but it definitely takes Jesus' help! I have to rely on Him daily to keep my mind pure because there is a LOT of bad language in that office. I'd say it's the hardest thing about being there. I'm finally able to work independently with much fewer phone calls to ask people questions. I'm praying that Jesus will use me as a light there, but that's going to be one tough job!

I am SO excited for Christmas! My whole family hasn't been together since last New Year's, so this will be great! It will be the first Christmas for baby Josiah, plus Brady, Megan and Caedyn always make things interesting and exciting...and chaotic...not to mention expensive :) We're heading out to Kelowna right after work on the Friday before Christmas and we'll leave on the morning after boxing day, so it will be a short but nice time away. Hopefully no highways are closed to get in the way!

What do all my friends have planned for the holidays?

Blue Day

Hmmm, have I mentioned that I don't know how my friends seem to be able to juggle their blogs and Facebook? Especially when they all have so much more going on than I do. I really don't get it.

So today I cried the entire drive home from work today, except I managed to be mostly controlled at the post office at Sobey's. Today was my last day of work at Stewart Weir before I start into a position with Jayman Innovations. It was SO hard to say good bye to everyone when I've developed so many good relationships there. I'm excited for the new opportunity but right now it feels overshadowed by moping. I have to leave my Jana-Chelsee-John Canucks posse behind, Jaime, Katie, Katie, Stacey, Jennifer, Cal, Colleen, Jackie and so many fabulous people. I got so many hugs, well-wishes and encouraging comments making me feel really loved which only makes it harder to leave.

I bought Mochaccino Almond Fudge ice cream on the way home and was planning to binge and watch a sad movie to encourage my wallowing, but I opted to try to laugh. I succeeded for a while during Air Farce Live, but now I'm listening to the Canucks vs. Kings hockey game on the radio, and I'm getting sad again. Every season I say that I'm not going to care and obsess about the NHL, but that resolution lasts until the draft in the summer. How pointless!

I'm registered for the 5km Resolution Run in Edmonton on January 1st, 2008 and am trying to figure out what to buy so that I don't freeze in the typically freezing weather. I wonder how awkward and bulky it would be to run in a winter parka and snowpants??! Jane is trying to persuade me to run a 10km route in early November, but I'm not too sure if I feel confident enough to attempt that yet.

Time to go cheer on my boys for the last few minutes of the game...

Multi-tasking

Ok, now this is just pathetic! I spend my day in administration, juggling my job responsibilities, and I can't even manage my blog plus Facebook! I don't know why I bother with these things.

Yes, I did succumb to the pressure and signed on to Facebook. I tried to resist, but who am I kidding? I love to play with new stuff :)

My vacation was a wonderful time away, but now I want another one. Why does life seem to be busier now that I'm home? We had 6 days with Brent, Nikki and Josiah (who is WAY cute!!) and it was so nice to see them. We went to Symphony of Fire on Wednesday night to see the Chinese fireworks, we went to Birchwood Dairy for ice cream, Ocean Park Pizza, the ABC for fresh blueberry pie...all the stuff I don't have in Edmonton. It was wonderful. Oh yeah, Nikki got me to watch Bride & Prejudice with her and I have to admit, as cheesy as it was, it was actually pretty entertaining! Did I mention how much I enjoyed cuddling my little nephew??!

Then we went to Kelowna and spent 4 days with Scott, Carla, Brady, Megan and Caedyn, and that was a blast! We hung out with the kids most of Saturday when Scott & Carla were at a wedding, so that was busy but they make it fun. Megs and I jumped on the trampoline LOTS and I took little videos on my camera of them doing "flips," pretty much a handspring but they're just learning. Brady had his 9th birthday while we were there and Carla made him a Lego cake - SO cute and very yummy, and Scott found him a Wii to play with...dangerous territory! I don't know who will play more - Scott or Brady?! Caedyn is growing more strong-willed every day, but she is so adorable.

We stayed at a hotel for the last 3 days to unwind a little before coming home, went mini-golfing at Scandia, out for dinner to the Cactus Club (I think?) and had the most amazing cedar plank salmon that I think I've ever had. Delicious! I went shopping at Sport Check for some new running shoes and when I walked in I knew I was in BC when I saw all the Canuck clothing...so I bought a t-shirt too :) I had to buy new shoes because I've started running with my neighbour and a couple of her friends, so it was motivation for me. Spend the money on the shoes and you have to make use of them, right?

Anyway, there's an update of my vacation and it is nice to be home, although I really miss the mountains. I'm really missing BC today because Vancouver is going to be 28 degrees today while Edmonton might hit a measly 17! So not fair, but what can ya do?

Oh, Sweet Vacation!!

Well, for the time being I am basking in the beauty of the scenery around Abbotsford and LOVING it!! My nephew is beyond precious and beautiful and I'm going to have lots of pics to post when I get home. I will do my best to keep up on the lives of my friends, but I don't know how much internet access I'll have for the next couple weeks. I'm still around but if you don't hear from me much, I PROMISE - I'm not ignoring you!

Oh Bother

Seriously, if the rest of my week continues the way the first 2 days have gone, I am in BIG trouble! I have had disastrous days so far so I can imagine how I'll end up - I'll be so disoriented that I won't even be able to enjoy the Bon Jovi concert this Thursday :(

On the huge plus side, have I mentioned that I have a new baby nephew??!? Ummm, I'm so excited that I seem to have forgotten to tell you that his name is Josiah Brent. Josiah because he searched after God when he was young and Brent because it's my brother's name. Sweet, eh?

I've decided to brave up and give Facebook a try, after being persuaded, coerced and reminded by enough people! We'll see how it goes and hopefully I can update stuff more often than I blog.

And yes, Kristal, it was Shelley Mac who called me on my birthday. It was cool! Now I have to remember where I put her phone number and email...

From Anniversary to Birthday

Happy Birthday Lana!!

I hope you have a simply wonderful day full of surprises. We'll have to celebrate when I visit, okay?

July 5, 2002 was 5 years ago??

Happy 5th Anniversary

Lana & David!

It seems so strange that you were married 5 years ago because it feels like yesterday! I miss you and can't wait to see you this summer.

Introducing Baby!

Nawwwww, I'm not a proud Auntie at ALL!!

Isn't he adorable?!

What a sweet family

Precious little lips

Definitely going to be a chick-magnet

SOOOOOOOO CUTE!

Amazing and Cool Stuff!!

This morning at 6:02 am (BC time) at the MSA Hospital in Abbotsford, a child was born. A precious, 7 lb 11 oz, bald, and as yet unnamed, baby boy made his grand entrance into the Lanigan clan!!!

Basically I'm trying to tell you that my big brother Brent and sister-in-law Nikki have officially begun the journey of parenting!!! Brent called to tell me this morning just as I was pulling into the parking lot at work, and he sent me into such an hysteria of crying and laughing that it took about 45 minutes to compose myself enough to deal with people :) Seriously. Tears streaming down my cheeks and everything! The thing that's brutal is that I live too far away to see them, but we're going out for a holiday in a month so Auntie can bond with her nephew then. Brent is supposed to send some pictures tomorrow so you gotta know that they'll be posted pretty quick.

You know, the coolest thing happened on my birthday in May...aside from my drag racing debut :) My friend Shelley called, and we haven't talked in WAY too long! We had an awesome talk and I hopefully get to see her when we visit BC in the summer. I can't wait!!

Recovery is slow...

OK, so I've been putting a new blog post on the backburner of my life because I've been wallowing in the sadness that is hockey to me. I was so excited, then to be SO very sad is too extreme for a quick return to reality. Did I mention that I hate the Ducks? Oh and Danna, I was never hiding in the woodwork - anyone who knows me is well aware of my die-hard, obsessive allegiance to my Canucks!! Now into the season of football, so GO LIONS!!

Moving on to other things, for my birthday Lee bought me the most unique gift I have ever received...a motorcycle helmet for the purpose of racing our Camaro?! I can now say that I have officially been to a legal drag race and it was really fun! Hmmm, does my lead foot really need to me encouraged? It's debatable :) I beat 2 mustangs, put an overconfident orange Neon in its place, and was beat by this blue Charger (but it was still exiciting). Oh, and did I mention that I beat Lee and his dad? That's right baby, my first time racing and I got the fastest time in the family of experienced drivers!!! I think Lee might come to regret his decision...Yeah, I'd say I had a little bit of fun :)

Just a side note, Bon Jovi is coming to Calgary in July during the Stampede week, and I didn't find out until over a month after tickets went on sale so HOW frustrated was I? Of all the times I wish I could hear Calgary radio stations! Anyway, last week a concert in Edmonton was announced and that's all I could think about for the rest of the day...but I didn't have tickets...yet...and now I do!!!!! WHO'S so totally going to Bon Jovi - ME!!! Oh wow am I excited much? Anyway, I can't wait for July 12 and then that's probably all anyone will hear about from me for awhile.

You know, I guess if I made more regular updates, they wouldn't have to be such novels, eh?

I'm in Canuck Heaven!!!

Dudes! YAY for my SO awesome Canucks!! I nearly had a meltdown this morning that CBC wasn't showing the game in Alberta, but thank goodness for the internet I got to watch online :) Oh, and did I mention that my Trevor scored the winning goal???!!! SO totally exciting. Now if only they can win game 5 in Vancouver on Thursday...

You know what's funny? I've been at this job since last May, but most people have just started to figure out that I'm a hockey fan! I'm a pretty lonely Canuck out here, but I'm slowly meeting more migrants from BC. So far at work I know of 4 die-hards besides myself. I know this whole post is turning out to be centred on hockey, but hey it's the playoffs and I love my team!! Can you guess how tempted I am to buy a ticket to a game and fly out to Vancouver?

Anyway, this really wasn't meant to be a hockey rave, but I was so wired after the game that I just had to write to people who understand me (for the most part!)

Have a great night and Believe in Blue :)

My Graveyard of Buried Hopes

That's a phrase I read once and I say it over to comfort myself in these times that try the soul. Let me start from the beginning...

I knew that correspondence would be hard, but MAN! I really missed instruction and having a pace to keep to. It turns out that there was not to be an LPN program starting this winter so I'd be waiting until September, IF there's even a start date in then. Hmmm, did you catch the big IF!! I'm so mad, frustrated, let down and discouraged. The school tells me now that there are not always enough students or instructors to run the evening part-time classes, so my only options are full-time or the whole thing by correspondence. Over the last few months, I have gotten the biggest run-around by this school that I want nothing to do with it, so I applied to Grant MacEwan to start the full-time Bachelor of Science in Nursing next January. That, of course, didn't work out because they've gotten so competitive and receive a bazillion applications. So now I'm back at square one with no idea what to do with my life while I'm not getting any younger and the realities of starting a family loom on an ever-nearing horizon.

So I've been looking into other options, not particularly things I'm excited about but maybe something that would be flexible and fill my career void. I could stay at the engineering firm I work for now and move into a different role that might allow for part-time working hours when the need arises in future. My father-in-law sold his business (AMEN!!) that Lee was managing, so he'll be looking for work in a month, so that brings dynamics all of its own. We could end up in some small, remote town doing church ministry, for all I know right now. I've looked into medical laboratory careers too, which could be kinda cool. We'll see. I can't really do much about that right now 'cause I need to see what happens with Lee's work over the summer. How many times have I wished that my life had turned out the way I'd planned in high school and that I'd never met a stupid boy at Briercrest to mess it all up? (note of clarification - NOT Lee)

Anyway, to prevent this update from becoming an epic novel, I'm going to stop now, besides, I have a lot of blog reading to catch up on. Now that I have a lot more time on my hands you should be hearing from me a lot more often - if you haven't already deleted me from your list of blogs to read!!

Did I mention that I got 98% on my final exam?? *sigh* If only it mattered.
Oh, and GO Canucks GO!!!

Happy Birthday Kristal!!

I hope you have a wonderful day, plus it's your first birthday as a mommy!! Maybe Natalie even has something special planned for you?

Hi There!! Remember Me??

Okay, so I just read an comment from Danna reminding me that it's been over a month since my last post, so I feel that the time has come for me to join a bad-bloggers anonymous group! Blogging is about as efficient as when I first moved to Alberta and told all my friends in BC that I was going to write them all and keep in touch...what a joke... Sorry guys, but I hope you believe that I miss you and think about you lots.

SO, on with the update:

1. I have started my Anantomy & Physiology II class by correspondence.
2. I have discovered that it's really different not being in class, and I don't really like it, but oh well.
3. I am totally ecstatic that my BC Lions are first in the CFL Western division.
4. I LOVE that the Edmonton Eskimos are eliminated from the playoffs for the first time in 34 years, and maybe now I can stop hearing about it - well, not likely, but I can hope. (sorry Brent!)
5. I LOVE HOCKEY, and oh, how I've missed it since the Carolina Hurricanes won the Stanley Cup.
6. I GET TO GO TO A CANUCK GAME TOMORROW NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going with my Father-in-law, so one of us will be really happy and one will not. I'm just excited to see my boys play for the first time in 8 years!!!!! Oh my...that is a long time...
7. Despite devoting my life to studying, I am making time to get a weekly dose of humour watching Corner Gas, for no other reason than that it makes me laugh!!
8. Lee and I went to the booming metropolis of Lloydminster to visit some friends...PARTY!!!
9. We also went to my parent's house in Three Hills for Thanksgiving, so that was very special.
10. I am depressed because it was snowing this morning when I went to my car and 0ºC. I actually had to SWEEP off my car. Ok, so it wasn't a lot, but the point is, it was snow. It is too darn early and I am so NOT ready to drive in 3-foot snowdrifts!!

But then again, did I mention I get to go see Trevor Linden and my Canucks play the Oilers tomorrow night???!!!!! Did I mention that I am excited? Just a little... I know Lana and Kristal will understand :)

Tumultuous Week

Guess what??! Last night fulfilled one of my dreams - I got to go see The Phantom of the Opera!!!!

I'll have to explain why this is such a big deal to me.

I have wanted to go see it for years, and it played in Seattle for a long time, but I was never able to go. Then I moved to Alberta and figured that it would never play here, but tickets went on sale in May! I didn't buy any because I was going to school and thought I should be financially responsible (I don't always like conviction). Last Tuesday I received a phone call from my school informing me that due to low enrolment, the Anatomy & Physiology II class was cancelled. This both disappointed and discouraged me, since I didn't want to have a whole wasted semester - I want to get these classes rolling, already! THEN I got totally sad because I realized that if I'm not going to have a class, I could have gone to Phantom!! So I've been moping and depressed, especially since Brent & Nikki got to go in Vancouver because they were given tickets and I've had to hear about how wonderful it was. Lovely, really great.

Anyway, I was talking to Roslyn (we worked together at Beulah) and she said she was going with a couple of youth from church, and said she'd pick up an extra ticket for me, and I said YES!!! I am there! So last night we went, quite spontaneously, and it was glorious! The hopeless romantic in me actually cried (just a little) at the end. I'm not too sure if it's because it was really sad or just that it was over :) It was everything I ever hoped it would be, and every moment was pure bliss! The music, the costumes, the cast, the dancing, the singing - it was all incredible! Christine's voice was exactly what I expected her to sound like, and the Phantom was amazing! But OH! The music was phenomenal! The Music of the Night, The Phantom of the Opera, All I Ask of You, Think of Me...it was heavenly... Next up: Les Misérables? If I could see Les Mis, my Broadway aspirations would be complete, and anything else an added bonus :)

As for school, I did manage to enroll in a correspondence/home study class which starts on October 1st, so at least I can still get the course done. It's no different than the last one except that I don't have a weekly lecture, and if I have trouble with anything I can still call the school, so I think I should be fine. Oh me of little faith, I have to remember that God still guides every thing and I need to trust Him. How old am I? Will I ever learn?

Happy Birthday Pixie!!

I hope you have a fabulous day, and get spoiled lots :)

I miss you, my friend

Course Results

Ok, here's the final verdict:

Midterm Exam: 94%
Midterm Assignment: 91%

Final Exam: 88%
Final Assignment: 91%

Course Grade: 91% = A-

Personally, I'm a little miffed that my final exam mark didn't hit 90, but oh well. I start Part II on September 7th, so hopefully I can do as well!

Some of you already know about the program I'm in, but to appease Darla (who has reminded me of her curiosity twice!) I'll give the short version.

The program I'm in is going to be frustratingly long, which is why I struggled for so long whether I was making the right decision in registering. I'm in a part-time evenings format, so in 3 years I will be an LPN. Then I can at least start working in a field that I love, and can upgrade to an RN at Grant MacEwan. Eventually I'll be able to finish my BSc in Nursing at U of A. The whole issue with this is the length of time it will take, but due to our situation in life with expenses and a mortgage, may only option right now is part-time classes. Ideally I would have liked to go straight to MacEwan and done my RN, but they only offer full-time.

Darla, I hope this clarifies my schooling stuff, but feel free to ask any question not answered!

My nephew, Brady, turned 8 on Sunday!! Do you know how crazy that is? Well, I know Lana does, but do you realize we had just graduated from high school before he was born??! That means that we've been out of MEI for 8 years and are 2 years away from our 10 year reunion!! Does that not seem freaky to anyone else? Maybe it's just me...

My parents will be married for 40 years in September, so my whole family got together for the long weekend to have an early celebration. Brent and Nikki were out from Abby, Lee and I drove down, and Scott, Carla, Brady, Megan and Caedyn drove in from Calgary. It was really fun and Monday was spoil Mom and Dad day, so they did nothing and we pampered them. At the end of the day we had planned a game of 20 questions, where using techniques of Charades, Catchphrase, Tribond and Pictionary, we got them to guess various family memories. VERY entertaining, and my mom did really well! Anyway, I think we accomplished our goal of making them feel spoiled and had some really special family time!!

I think that's all for now...

Missing in Action??

S'up y'all! I promise, I am still here and reading blogs, just not taking the time to write any! I write my final exam on Wednesday night so I've been totally consumed with school stuff, but when it's over I'll have free time to write updates again. I can't wait!!

Stay tuned...but don't expect much until Thursday...

A Birthday Novel to a Wonderful Friend

On this 10th day of July, in the year 2006, I feel inspired to write a blog for my friend Lana. We have been through an insane amount of experiences together, and today on her 26th birthday I'm going to reminisce a little, as my sentimental nature is prone to do!! This is going to be a little long...

Lan, we went through high school together, which in itself holds too many stories to mention, although Mr. Matwichuk's grade 8 Bible class will always be a treasure :) I was called 'Lana' more times than I could count on 100 hands... Have I ever mentioned that my massage therapist's name is Lana??... Spending a summer going through your dad's old dental patient files and determining that we will NEVER become dental hygenists... Going to White Rock in the summer with your mom and letting her fend off the creepy, drunk men (and incidentally, as I'm writing this I am laughing so hard I can barely type properly!)... Hockey games, oh such sweet hockey games, with your dad yelling at the refs, offering them his glasses (again, more laughter!)... Studying for Provincial exams and other important stuff that we don't remember anyway... Basketball games watching our teams win and lose and the rivalry between us and Abby Sr... Wasn't Jeff Burkinhshaw in the Eagle costume when the Abby guy pulled the head off?!... Crazy Hal, ah yes, Crazy Hal... The favorite ritual of McDonald's french fries and chocolate ice cream after basketball (and hockey?) games... Grad outing to Grizzlies vs. LA Clippers NBA game... Surprise visits to Trinity from Briercrest... Escaping from Alberta to visit you in Abby... My notorious good timing when you were working at Fraserway RV... My history of Murphy's Law experiences at your house!!... Coming to visit for the year 2000 New Year's party at Leon's... Being able to be at your dad's funeral... Having you to go through break-ups with me... Making time for a quick visit when you came out for Breakforth... Always having you to keep me "in the loop" of Abbotsford news... You meeting Lee... Meeting David... Being your Maid of Honor... Having you as my Matron of Honor... Being phoned the day Noelle was born and flying out to meet her... And that's only our friendship so far!!

In honor of this day that is yours, here is a short summary of our friendship in pictures. I could have picked more, but I didn't want to make an enemy, so I had to be choosy!!

Happy Birthday, my dearest Lana!!